New year, new project.
Back to college, and since my last option was fine art, I don't feel that much has really changed with the New Year, except perhaps my desk, yet I don't want to fall into the trap of simply picking up where I left off. Our new project brief is called 'My World' wherein we reflect on our view of the world around us or on our personal experiences of it. I can see why this is the set task because it allows for students to manipulate the project in any direction they like. However, while this is good for some students, I find my creativity thrives off restriction. For instance, if you are told to build something and you only have limited materials, I think you would create a more ingenious bridge than if you were allowed all the materials at your disposal. You look for solutions and new ways of doing things.
So I spent the first day or so absentmindedly twisting wire in my hands, deciphering how I felt towards my world at that present time. The recurring word in my head was 'disenchanted'. I am beginning to tire of Bristol - a city I once cherished. My best friends are all going back to uni or going off travelling and I am bored of seeing the same buildings and trees. I feel disjointed because I want to leave home but I can't because I have no idea where I want to go and I have no reason to leave. There is of course my obligation to stay at college to finish my course. I always used to love home but I am increasingly believing that it isn't my home anymore because it isn't where my heart rests. The city seems stale, unappealing and fruitless.
Luckily, after moping around for a few days I picked up a pallette knife and started slopping paint onto a board. I worked instinctually like I did before Christmas, choosing colours I thought apt and scraping the board in ways that looked and physically felt satisfying. I also found a use for my abstract wire structures - tacking them onto the board with clay and drawing pins then painting over them.
The result of the week? I thought my unhappiness was stifling my creativity but my tutor said he was glad I was confused because he knew my project would be more considered. So while I don't advocate making yourself unhappy to feed your artistry (because you don't have to be depressed to be a good artist) - if you should find yourself hitting a wall remember: life comes in waves, a good one is always on the way.
